BOFH Archive • The Register

BOFH: Here he comes, all wide-eyed with the boundless optimism of youth. He is me, 30 years ago... what to do?

Episode 5 Red pill? Blue pill? Window?

BOFH06 Mar 2020 | 162

BOFH: Gosh, IPv5? Why didn't I think of that? Say, how do you like the new windows in here? Take a look. Closer...

Episode 4 No, no. There's no such thing as a stupid question

BOFH28 Feb 2020 | 72

BOFH: Darn Windows 7. It's totally why we need a £1k graphics card for a business computer

Episode 3 Look to the future, Boss – you know it makes sense

BOFH07 Feb 2020 | 101

BOFH: When was the last time someone said these exact words to you: You are the sunshine of my life?

Episode 2 It's survey time in BOFH-land... and the dastardly duo are getting creative

BOFH24 Jan 2020 | 103

BOFH: Judge us not by the size of our database, but the size of our augmented reality

Episode 10 In which the PFY and Simon show the Director their vision of the future

BOFH25 Oct 2019 | 70

BOFH: The company survived the disaster recovery test. Just. The Director's car, however...

Episode 9 Well, it was an angry mob simulation

BOFH18 Oct 2019 | 99

BOFH: We must... have... beer! Only... cure... for... electromagnetic fields

Episode 8 Slow your roll, your typewriters will be here anon

BOFH27 Sep 2019 | 147

BOFH: What's the Gnasher? Why, it's our heavy-duty macerator sewage pump

Episode 7 It's also our nickname for the ISA card guy we have to pay to fix everything

BOFH20 Sep 2019 | 100

BOFH: Oh, go on, let's flush all that legacy tech down the toilet

Episode 6 Leads? Detective Bastard Operator From Hell has nothing to Go On

BOFH02 Aug 2019 | 107

BOFH: On a sunny day like this one, the concrete dries so much more quickly

Episode 5 Our hero and the Pimply Faced Youth valiantly bring pub o' clock closer for us all

BOFH05 Jul 2019 | 119

BOFH: What's Near Field Implementation? Oh, you'll see. Turn left here

Episode 4 The Bastard Operator From Hell continues to meet targets on his roadmap in the latest instalment

BOFH28 Jun 2019 | 79

BOFH: It's not just an awesome app, it'll look great on my Insta. . a. a. AAAARRRRRGGH

Episode 3 Time to take a custard pie, er, interface...

BOFH26 Apr 2019 | 107

BOFH: Tick tick BOOM. It's B-day! No we're not eating Brussels flouts...

Episode 2 The B stands for BOFH

BOFH29 Mar 2019 | 136

BOFH: Bye desktop, bye desk. Hello tablet and a beanbag on the floor

Episode 1 On our hero sysadmin's watch? Not likely...

BOFH22 Feb 2019 | 56

BOFH: State of a job, eh? Roll the Endless Requests for Further Information protocol

Episode 12 And let's see how long he takes to crack

BOFH07 Dec 2018 | 88

BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

Episode 11 Mindfulness worksheets? Lattes? We're all set

BOFH22 Jun 2018 | 111

BOFH: Got that syncing feeling, hm? I've looked at your computer and the Outlook isn't great

Episode 10 Oh, and sorry about your phone

BOFH15 Jun 2018 | 88

BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'

Episode 9 It's for your own Health and Safety

BOFH25 May 2018 | 154

BOFH: But I did log in to the portal, Dave

Episode 8 I know where your supervisor is Dave

BOFH04 May 2018 | 133

BOFH: Guys? Guys? We need blockchain... can you install blockchain?

Episode 7 It's the technology of the future-ture-ture

BOFH27 Apr 2018 | 107

BOFH: We know where the bodies are buried

Episode 6 You're here to audit us? Hi! Fancy a coffee?

BOFH20 Apr 2018 | 72

BOFH: Give me a lever long enough and a fool, I mean a fulcrum and ....

Episode 5 Simon and PFY gamify the interface

BOFH23 Mar 2018 | 137

BOFH: Honourable misconduct

Episode 4 Yurrrr. Yuurrrrg. Hnng. Vomit? No, I'm fi... yuuurrg. Yunnk. Unk. Gulp. HUALLLARRGHHHAAHH!*

BOFH02 Mar 2018 | 81

BOFH: Turn your server rack hotspot to a server rack notspot

Episode 3 Oh, Sales Guy! You're a riot

BOFH16 Feb 2018 | 82

BOFH: We want you to know you have our full support

Episode 2 What's that buzzing sound... Boss? Boss?

BOFH09 Feb 2018 | 89

BOFH: Buttock And Departmental Defence ... As A Service

Episode 1 Say it with us: BADD-AAS

BOFH12 Jan 2018 | 74

BOFH: The trouble with, er, windows installs

Episode 16 The numbers don't lie...

OSes24 Nov 2017 | 54

BOFH: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

Episode 15 It is the eeeeeeeeeeee-ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH

BOFH10 Nov 2017 | 55

BOFH: Do I smell burning toes, I mean burning toast?

Episode 14 This is not a drill

BOFH27 Oct 2017 | 89

BOFH: Oh dear. Did someone get lost on the Audit Trail?

Episode 13 Our expenses? Same thing we've filed every year...

BOFH13 Oct 2017 | 63

BOFH: Come on, PFY, let's pick a Boss

Episode 12 Robot intelligence not there yet... but neither is Boss intelligence

BOFH29 Sep 2017 | 35

BOFH: We're only here because they said there would be biscuits

Episode 11 BOFH helps promote his company's 'Story' (if promote = bag of quicklime)

BOFH15 Sep 2017 | 58

BOFH: Oh go on. Strap me to your Hell Desk, PFY

Episode 10 Special tables with special chairs for special people

BOFH28 Jul 2017 | 77

BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

Episode 9 Thronging gangs of idiots besiege tech

BOFH07 Jul 2017 | 159

BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee

Episode 8 Do we have an agenda? Why of course we do!

BOFH23 Jun 2017 | 119

BOFH: Halon is not a rad new vape flavour

Episode 7 Migrate data? If you're keen on seeing clouds...

BOFH16 Jun 2017 | 98

BOFH: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back

Episode 6 Fly, little bird, fly....

BOFH28 Apr 2017 | 90

BOFH: Defenestration, a solution to Solutions To Problems We Don't Have

Episode 5 Fires and server crashes also known to work

BOFH07 Apr 2017 | 60

BOFH: The Boss, the floppy and the work 'experience'

Episode 4 Putting the shi* into internship

BOFH31 Mar 2017 | 99

BOFH: Don't back up in anger

Episode 3 And soooooo, Brian can wait. You know it's too late when PFY walks by

BOFH17 Mar 2017 | 99

BOFH: Elf of Safety? Orc of Admin. Pleased to meet you

Episode 2 Come right this way. The PFY doesn't bite... that hard

BOFH24 Feb 2017 | 101

BOFH: Password HELL. For you, mate, not for me

Episode 1 Letting go never felt so good

BOFH03 Feb 2017 | 129

BOFH: The Hypochondriac Boss and the non-random sample

Episode 14 Cherry-pickin'? You darn tootin!

BOFH25 Nov 2016 | 82

BOFH: The Idiot-ware Project and the Meaningless Acronym

Episode 13 We'll take you away from misery of Hell Desk

BOFH07 Oct 2016 | 52

BOFH: There are no wrong answers, just wrong questions. Mmm, really wrong ones

Episode 12 Boss, are you blushing?

BOFH30 Sep 2016 | 112

BOFH: The case of the suspicious red icon

Episode 11 Could it be a virus? Why, user, you should be head of IT. Yes, I said behead

BOFH16 Sep 2016 | 86

BOFH: Free as in free beer or... Oh. 'Free Upgrade'

Episode 10 Even printer salesmen get the blues

BOFH22 Jul 2016 | 139

BOFH: I found a flying Dragonite on a Windows 2003 domain

Episode 9 Just slap on our custom VR headset, Boss

BOFH15 Jul 2016 | 56

BOFH: Follow the paper trail

Episode 8 What are you doing in our stockroom, buddy?

BOFH17 Jun 2016 | 90

BOFH: What's your point, caller?

Episode 7 Service within 48 hours... with a smile

BOFH03 Jun 2016 | 60

BOFH: Thermo-electric funeral

Episode 6 Just because it's half-dead doesn't mean you shouldn't keep flogging it

BOFH22 Apr 2016 | 101

BOFH: If you liked it then you should've put the internet in it

Episode 5 Boss puts the ID in IoT

BOFH15 Apr 2016 | 63

BOFH: Sure, I could make your cheapo printer perform miracles

Episode 4 Just as sure as a cattle prod goes BZZZZZT!!!

BOFH08 Apr 2016 | 121

BOFH: This laptop has ceased to be. And it's pub o'clock soon

Episode 3 Quantum security is no joke, y'know

BOFH26 Feb 2016 | 67

BOFH: In-depth IT training needs a single-malt distillery

Episode 2 Onward, Ultrabook solderers! Marching as to war...

BOFH29 Jan 2016 | 43

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BOFH

BOFH: Here he comes, all wide-eyed with the boundless optimism of youth. He is me, 30 years ago... what to do?

BOFH: Gosh, IPv5? Why didn't I think of that? Say, how do you like the new windows in here? Take a look. Closer...

BOFH: Darn Windows 7. It's totally why we need a £1k graphics card for a business computer

BOFH: When was the last time someone said these exact words to you: You are the sunshine of my life?

BOFH: You brought nothing to the party but a six-pack of regret

BOFH: The case of the Boss's hidden USB inkjet printer

BOFH: 'Twas the night before Christmas, and the ransomware struck

BOFH: I'd like introduce you to a groovy little web log I call 'That's Boss'

BOFH: Trying to go after IT's budget again?

BOFH: Judge us not by the size of our database, but the size of our augmented reality

BOFH: The company survived the disaster recovery test. Just. The Director's car, however...

BOFH: We must... have... beer! Only... cure... for... electromagnetic fields

BOFH: What's the Gnasher? Why, it's our heavy-duty macerator sewage pump

BOFH: Oh, go on, let's flush all that legacy tech down the toilet

BOFH: On a sunny day like this one, the concrete dries so much more quickly

BOFH: What's Near Field Implementation? Oh, you'll see. Turn left here

BOFH: It's not just an awesome app, it'll look great on my Insta. . a. a. AAAARRRRRGGH

BOFH: Tick tick BOOM. It's B-day! No we're not eating Brussels flouts...

BOFH: Bye desktop, bye desk. Hello tablet and a beanbag on the floor

BOFH: State of a job, eh? Roll the Endless Requests for Further Information protocol

BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

BOFH: Got that syncing feeling, hm? I've looked at your computer and the Outlook isn't great

BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'

BOFH: But I did log in to the portal, Dave

BOFH: Guys? Guys? We need blockchain... can you install blockchain?

BOFH: We know where the bodies are buried

BOFH: Give me a lever long enough and a fool, I mean a fulcrum and ....

BOFH: Honourable misconduct

BOFH: Turn your server rack hotspot to a server rack notspot

BOFH: We want you to know you have our full support

BOFH: Buttock And Departmental Defence ... As A Service

BOFH: The trouble with, er, windows installs

BOFH: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

BOFH: Do I smell burning toes, I mean burning toast?

BOFH: Oh dear. Did someone get lost on the Audit Trail?

BOFH: Come on, PFY, let's pick a Boss

BOFH: We're only here because they said there would be biscuits

BOFH: Oh go on. Strap me to your Hell Desk, PFY

BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

BOFH: Putting the commitment into committee

BOFH: Halon is not a rad new vape flavour

BOFH: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back

BOFH: Defenestration, a solution to Solutions To Problems We Don't Have

BOFH: The Boss, the floppy and the work 'experience'

BOFH: Don't back up in anger

BOFH: Elf of Safety? Orc of Admin. Pleased to meet you

BOFH: Password HELL. For you, mate, not for me

BOFH: The Hypochondriac Boss and the non-random sample

BOFH: The Idiot-ware Project and the Meaningless Acronym

BOFH: There are no wrong answers, just wrong questions. Mmm, really wrong ones

BOFH: The case of the suspicious red icon

BOFH: Free as in free beer or... Oh. 'Free Upgrade'

BOFH: I found a flying Dragonite on a Windows 2003 domain

BOFH: Follow the paper trail

BOFH: What's your point, caller?

BOFH: Thermo-electric funeral

BOFH: If you liked it then you should've put the internet in it

BOFH: Sure, I could make your cheapo printer perform miracles

BOFH: This laptop has ceased to be. And it's pub o'clock soon

BOFH: In-depth IT training needs a single-malt distillery

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